Nica's Blog

I went to see The 300 with some unease. I like historical dramas, but this didn't seem to be to my tastes. I like stories which emphasize the difficulty of telling good from evil; The 300 seemed like Star Wars, a universe in which you can tell if someone is good or evil by the quality of their skin. In the real world nasty people can look very nice, smell good, and seem wholesome. Still, I've gone to movies before expecting the worst and have been pleasantly surprised. I watch The 300 and it was actually a little worse than I expect. I expected something mediocre (5/10), but this was truly sub-par (4/10). My husband said to me, "It's just movie-adaptation of a comic book" as if this is suppose to excuse bad taste. My problem is not that it was not historically accurate. My problem is that it was stupid and tasteless.

Ancient Spartan culture is something of a mystery since they were something of a secretive society. I don't mind that The 300 depicts the Spartans as resolutely heterosexual, though it is quite unlikely. I do mind awkwardly placed sex scenes and an absurd plot involving the Queen of Sparta having extra-martial sex with an official have an audience with the council.

There are moments when Leonidas' speeches remind me of Christopher Reeves playing Superman and fighting for "truth, justice, and the American way." Sparta is supposedly a bastion of reason and freedom in a world of superstition and perversity. If there was ever a fascist culture it was Sparta. Somehow forcing men to fight, and being free don't conflict in this philosophically confused film.

There is a real conundrum when it comes to the oracle in Sparta. The priests are called inbreed and look like monsters, but it is also mentioned that the oracles themselves are beautiful women because the priests "have the needs of men." So the priests are inbred monsters, but they are having sex with a steady stream of pretty young oracles? It was also implied that the oracles have no real magical abilities, but the oracle is shown floating in the air while in a trance. Well, it was a very pretty way to show off her pretty breasts.

The Persian enemy is made faceless by giving them various masks and scarves to obscure their humanity. Xerxes himself is made ridiculous, and Persian culture is made out like some sort of freakshow. The good guys, the Spartans, were forgettable personalities. I bet 95% of the audience members do not remember the names of and Greek in the story other than Leonidas.

Many watch movies like this for the fight scenes. The fights were reasonably well orchestrated I suppose, but very predictable. Give me a good martial arts film over the spear chucking, shield bashing ways of The 300. For those who like beefcake, this may be your movie. Try not to think and enjoy the well defined abs.

Labels: 300, history, movies, review